Between developing my own act over 15 years in stand up and building The Other Comedy Company I've taken a backseat over the years to ask myself a few specific questions that I believe answer almost every other question.
- Why am I doing this?
- Who is this for?
- Why do I care?
If I'm able to answer those three questions then I know I'm on the right path even if the path isn't clear and there's no end in sight.
Let's do a run-through Q&A to show how I walk myself from "Should I?" to "I Should":
Standup
- Why am I doing this? Because I love to make people laugh, I learn more from pressure and it gives me an opportunity to make others feel good.
- Who do I do this for? Myself and the audience but it's best for myself when I'm only thinking of the audience.
- Why do I care? I think the world is shitty and I like doing things that make it less shitty.
That's a clear 'Why' without over-inflating my own ego or making it about something it isn't. I'm participating in an act of self-discovery that helps other people too. Done.
My Small Business
- Why am I doing this? Because I love a challenge and felt this was the time of my life to attempt one of the hardest things to do: bootstrap a startup.
- Who do I do this for? Innocent children who grow up to be complicated adults. Somewhere along the way we forget that life is a cycle of Playing, Learning & Being. Pain and trauma complicate our stories and I see comedy as a way to bring us back to that state of play where we learn, in community with one another, while developing our own unique perspective on the world.
- Why do I care? I am an ADHD father raising an ADHD son. I grew up being told I don't fit in the world built around me and so is my son. Thanks to the loving guidance of my own parents, my creativity was nurtured when I was young and that helped me develop the self-confidence to take risks and try new things. I have an anchoring belief that self-esteem in children is the world's greatest preventative measure against crime, addiction and other forms of self-destruction. In my eyes, this is a good things to give a shit about.
The 'Why' behind this one is a little more heavy because it was a problem I saw everyone seeing but no one doing anything about. Our education systems continue to put the learner last, our workplaces continue to prioritize profit over people and at my core I'm a human builder who believes we should ultimately build things that are good for humans.
Which brings me to my son. Damn. I love this kid. He's so funny and inspiring. I'm very grateful to be raising such an interesting and innovative mind who is hungry to experience the world and curious about his inner world.
He asks me questions I never in a million years thought anyone would ask me. We live in townhomes so our house is attached to the houses on either side. The cat was staring out the front window and my son asked me, "Dad, why do we have windows on the front of our house? If we had windows on the walls we could see our neighbours."
That kind of blew my mind. Why would you want to look at the world outside when you can look inside someone else's world? Who wouldn't want to keep their neighbours in a human aquarium? Right?
This is a mind I want to see nurtured organically, at his pace, and the most important factor is giving him the time and space to actively talk to me about his questions, ideas and things that confuse him about the world. This is where the best learning happens.
I had a piece of wood in the kitchen I was saving for a kitchen nook project I've been slowly working on. My grandparents had a kitchen nook and I've always loved the vibe so I've been working towards building that for us.
My son asked me, "Dad what are you doing with this piece of wood?"
I told him it was for the kitchen nook and he asked me if he could paint on it instead.
I come from the world of comedy so I know the answer here is to 'Yes And' and see where the story goes.
I got out what paints we had, laid down some garbage bags in the middle of the living room (which kinda-helped but there's still paint on my floor) and then he asked me if there were any rules.
He's still young and looks to be "told what to do" sometimes when it's something he hasn't done before. So for this project, I gave him 4 core rules:
The Rules Were
- he could only use the materials we had on hand
- it was finished when he said it was finished
- he had to make his own choices
- he had to trust himself
For him:
- Why am I doing this? Because I saw a piece of wood and wanted to paint on it.
- Who do I do this for? I'm doing this for me so my dad can hang it on the wall.
- Why do I care? I'm interested in painting and want to paint.
- Why am I doing this? Because I see this as an opportunity for my son to develop self-trust and personal autonomy.
- Who do I do this for? My son because he's doing this for himself and I want to encourage that.
- Why do I care? I want him to create, think and build for himself. I believe there's nothing more valuable than developing your own original voice.
No matter what he does, that's a beautiful way to look at the world.
Here's a shot of ARTFORCE in the middle of his process.
We are creator beings. Story beings. Doers and builders. Thinkers and dreamers.
Now that my son is making art I get this unique opportunity to be a witness to someone else's process and personal discovery which only widens my view of how I see art, how I see learning and how I see my son.
I'm reminded of Interstellar where they understand that LOVE is a force just like time and gravity. I believe that and I believe the same for ART.
ARTFORCE!!!